A New Memory
by deemarie1a
Summary: Remus meets an old friend. Part two of the Memory Trilogy.


Disclaimer: As always this is the property of JKR and the various publishers. No copywrite infringement is intended. Thanks to JKR for creating a wonderful world that we can inhabit if only for a short while.  
  
A New Memory  
  
By deemarie  
  
Dorian Brown was wiping tears from her eyes so she never saw the man she bumped into. His back was to her so he didn't know she was leaving the cemetery. She dropped her handbag.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she said as she recovered herself. She bent to retrieve her handbag and her hand met the man's as he also reached for it.  
  
"My fault entirely," Remus Lupin said. Their hands met as each grabbed the purse. Remus looked up as he let go. A mass of unruly brown curls was the first thing he saw. She met his gaze and he was drawn in by the walnut coloured eyes. They seemed familiar so he looked through her glasses. Recognition hit him. "Dorian?" She looked at him. "Dorian MacDonald?" They stood. Dorian scanned the face before her. He was so familiar. Sandy hair, streaked with grey, a careworn face, long aquiline nose leading to a mustached-topped set of full lips. He was familiar. Then she met his eyes. Hazel, they were, and sad, incredibly sad. She'd seen only one other pair of eyes like that before.  
  
"Remus Lupin? It's been ages!" A smile crossed both of their faces. "It's Brown now. I haven't been a MacDonald for 15 years."  
  
"Belated congratulations then, Dorian." Dorian extended her hand. Remus took it and shook it. There was a short silence. "So what have you been doing all these years?"  
  
"Living in the States, actually. My parents moved to New York after I left Hogwarts. I went with them. I took a position as a story editor for Witch Weekly's American Edition. And you, Remus? What have you been doing?"  
  
"Bit of this and that, actually taught at Hogwarts for a year." Dorian's eyes lit up at the mention of their Alma Mater. "Right now, I do a bit of work for the Ministry of Magic. Mostly, I'm Harry Potter's godfather, of a sort."  
  
"Ah, I just left Harry." The jovial mood had left them both.  
  
"Would you care to join me for a cuppa? There's a teashop around the corner. If you're not in a hurry, that is." Dorian smiled at him.  
  
"Tea would be lovely. Thank you." She glanced at her wristwatch. "I don't have to be back until 5. I can give you at least 2 hours."  
  
"Wait here. Let me just tell Harry." Dorian nodded.   
  
Remus approached Harry quietly. He never liked to disturb Harry when he was here. Normally Ginny Weasley, Harry's fiancé, would be here. Harry never liked to come alone. At first, Remus had been his companion, but since last May, when Harry had finally proposed to her, Ginny had come with him. She would have been here today, but for the fact that the new school year had just begun two weeks ago. It was too soon for her to get permission for this monthly visit.  
  
Harry was standing silently, his head bowed. A soft breeze blew and the white rose that had been placed on Sirius' grave rolled. Harry bent quickly to retrieve it. Whoever that woman was, she obviously cared for Sirius. He didn't want her tribute to be scattered. Harry bent to one knee and planted the stem firmly into the ground.  
  
"Whoever she was," Harry said, "she obviously cared for you. I hope she got the closure she was seeking, Sirius." Harry sat. "I wish I had gotten to know you better. I wish we could have had more time."  
  
"He wanted that too, Harry," Remus said quietly. Harry turned his head. "We talked about that. Sirius and I. He was frustrated that you couldn't come to live with him."  
  
"I know, Remus," Harry sighed.  
  
"Harry, I've run into an old acquaintance just now..."  
  
"There was a woman here, tall, dark curly hair, glasses."  
  
"Yes, that's her. Dorian, Dorian MacDon...I mean Brown. We're going for a cuppa 'round the corner. That little teashop we pass on the way here."  
  
"Go on. I'll catch you up when I'm done." Remus placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, and then he left.  
  
Remus remembered Dorian very well now. She was one of the best students while he was in school. She was smart but never flaunted it. He remembered her as being rather reserved, shy actually. He always managed to say hello to her and was rewarded with one of the few smiles he remembered her sharing. As a matter of fact, she really only ever bestowed them on Sirius and him.  
  
He suspected there was something special between Sirius and Dorian. For the better part of their 5th year Sirius and Dorian would be conspicuously absent on Saturday mornings. Not that there was anything romantic going on. Sirius cared for looks too much and Dorian wasn't a particularly pretty girl in Sirius' eyes. Remus, however, thought there was a quiet beauty about her, even though she wasn't classically pretty.  
  
Something had happened between them just before spring. Sirius had studiously avoided the subject, but he was seen every Saturday morning after that. Remus had noticed that Dorian would look at Sirius with a decidedly sad expression.  
  
She was waiting patiently for him at the cemetery gateway. She saw him approach and a smile crossed her face. She'd gotten quite pretty. Time had enhanced her quiet beauty. Her features had become more mature. She had been plump in school, but now though not thin her figure had obtained graceful curves. The boys from school should see her now. She was like a painting by Reubens.  
  
"Shall we go?" Remus said as he proffered his arm to her. She took it and they began their walk.   
  
"You've been living in the US all this time then?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yes, almost since I left Hogwarts. My father got transferred there. I don't know if you knew, but my father was a muggle. My mother is a witch."  
  
"I didn't know."  
  
"Father passed away last year. Mum came back to England after he died. She was never fond of America, the pace of life in New York never suited her."  
  
"So you worked for Witch Weekly?" They had reached the teashop and Remus held the door for her. They made their way to a cozy table by the front window. Remus held her chair.  
  
"Thanks. Yes, I edited the fiction section of the American edition." They ordered from the waitress.  
  
"Sirius mentioned you wrote. Did you ever get anything published?"  
  
"A few short stories in the magazine. I was getting ready to submit to a major publisher when life interfered."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"I had met Kevin, my husband, at a party about a year before. He mounted quite a campaign for my affections. It was really rather sweet. Before I knew it, I was engaged." Their tea and cakes arrived. The waitress had a knowing smile on her face. Dorian blushed.  
  
"Please go on," Remus said. "Don't let her stop your story."  
  
"Well, we talked about my career. I wanted to continue, I really did want to be published. Kevin wouldn't hear of me working. I told him writing wasn't work." Dorian's brow had furrowed. She stopped talking.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."  
  
With a sigh, she continued, "It's not prying. Let's just say he convinced me to be a wife and eventually a mother."  
  
"You have children?"  
  
"Yes," a smile lit her face. She reached into her handbag and retrieved her wallet. Inside were some pictures of her family. "That's Kevin, Geoffrey our oldest and Riley the scamp. It was taken last year at Brighton Beach."  
  
Kevin Brown was a tall burly blond. Geoffrey was the image of his father. Riley was all his mother. It was a charming picture of the three of them resting on a blanket on the beach. They were laughing and wrestling each other.  
  
Remus handed it back. "You have a lovely family."  
  
"Thank you." She tucked the wallet away. "You mentioned you work for the Ministry? What do you do?"  
  
"A bit of this and that." Dorian pursed her lips. "I suppose you heard about what happened last June?"  
  
"Kevin works for the Magical Law Enforcement Department. He told me everything after I told him I knew James and Lily Potter."  
  
"Did he tell you about the Order of the Phoenix?"  
  
"Yes, he said they were instrumental in rounding up the Dark Lord's followers."  
  
"I'm a member." Dorian's mouth rounded into an O of surprise. "The Order is now a part of our Magical Law Enforcement Department. There are still Death Eaters out there. We have the responsibility of rounding them up. I go where and when I'm needed."  
  
"You'll be meeting Kevin then." Remus raised an eyebrow. "Kevin's been transferred here. He's been assigned to study the Order in the hopes he can establish one in New York. It's a long-term assignment. We'll be here for at least two years."  
  
"Then I can look forward to seeing more of you," Remus smiled.  
  
"Certainly, I'll have Kevin seek you out. Perhaps you can come for dinner one night?"  
  
"I'd like that," he said. "You're boys, are they attending Hogwarts?"  
  
"Yes. Geoffrey is a 4th year and Riley's just starting. Geoffrey was in the top 5% at our wizarding school. I think Riley is very powerful though. There's something strong in him. Always has been."  
  
"Do you know which houses they've been sorted to?"  
  
Dorian nodded. "Geoffrey is in Ravenclaw. He's very smart. Riley's made Gryffindor."  
  
"That's wonderful. I'm glad one of your sons made our old house." The bell of the shop's door jangled. They looked over. Harry had come in. He spotted them and made his way over. Harry pulled up a chair.  
  
"Dorian, this is Harry, Harry Potter. James and Lily's son."  
  
"We met briefly. Hello, Mr. Potter."  
  
"Harry, this is an old acquaintance of mine from school, Mrs. Dorian Brown."  
  
"Mrs. Brown," Harry said solemnly as he nodded his greeting.  
  
"I meant what I said, Mr. Potter. I truly am sorry for your loss. I knew Sirius quite well. He was a wonderful man."  
  
"Thank you again, Mrs. Brown. Please call me Harry." There was an awkward silence. Then, "Could you tell me about him? About how well you knew him?" Dorian looked a little taken aback. "I'm sorry," Harry said.  
  
"Please don't be, Harry," she replied.  
  
Remus stood. "I need to go pay my respects. Please stay and talk to Harry. I'll be back in say, an hour?" Dorian smiled at Remus. As he was leaving he heard her say, "We met because of my journal."  
  
Over the next few weeks Remus became a frequent guest at the Brown residence. Kevin Brown had sought him out at Dorian's request. They got on fairly well and Kevin had requested Remus as his liaison.  
  
Remus would regale Kevin with stories of his days at Hogwarts with his fellow Marauders, not mentioning his lycanthropy of course. Dorian knew of some of these adventures from Sirius and would smile at the memories. Seeing Dorian smile had made Remus very glad to know her again. More than glad, he felt drawn to Dorian.  
  
Kevin had often been called away for days at a time. He wanted to be actively involved in the work the Order was doing. It would help him prepare his model for his home office. On these occasions Remus would visit Dorian and they would talk about their days at school.  
  
"Dorian," Remus said as they shared a cuppa one rainy afternoon, "may I ask a personal question?"  
  
"Of course, Remus."  
  
"Erm...you and Sirius," Dorian's brow furrowed. "I'm sorry," Remus said after seeing her face. "I shouldn't pry."  
  
"No, Remus, it's alright. You want to know if there was anything between us."  
  
"Not if it will upset you."  
  
Dorian sighed. "It doesn't upset me. Not really. It's just a difficult thing to answer."  
  
"Then don't answer. It's really none of my business."  
  
There was a look of concern on Remus' face. "Actually, Remus," she began, "I've told Harry all about it. He hasn't said anything to you?"  
  
"No," he replied. "Harry is very good at keeping confidences. He must think that your relationship with Sirius is too private to share." Remus watched the play of emotions run across Dorian's face.  
  
"Sirius and I were friends, good friends. Do you remember when he found my journal?" Remus did remember. Dorian told him everything. How sad, Remus thought as she finished the tale.  
  
"I was wrong not to take the chance, I think. I didn't give Sirius enough credit. He matured a lot over the time we spent together. I don't think he realized it, but if I had taken the risk, things might have turned out differently."  
  
"Can I ask why you didn't?"  
  
"I told you, Remus. I thought he would be..." there were tears in her eyes, "ashamed of me somehow. I was never very pretty. And at that point it was all about looks to Sirius."  
  
"I always found you to be pretty, Dorian." She glanced sharply at him. "It's true. There was a gentility about you, a quiet grace.. You still have that, you know I still think you are a most beautiful woman."  
  
Dorian could no longer look Remus in the eye. Her breathing became rapid. "Look at the time," she said nervously. "I do have a lot to do today, and it's getting late..."  
  
"Dorian, I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you." Dorian started to get up. Remus rose with her. He grabbed her gently by the arms. She looked into his soft hazel eyes. "But it's the truth. You are beautiful. You always were..." Their eyes locked. Such beautiful brown eyes, Remus thought. His lips brushed hers before he knew what he was doing. She pushed him away.  
  
"No, Remus, I can't. I'm married."  
  
"Does he love you?"  
  
The question stopped her in her tracks. "Of course he does!" She turned away from Remus. "I think you had better go now."  
  
"Not before I say this," he stood right behind Dorian. "I think you should look carefully at your husband, Dorian."  
  
"No, I won't do this, Remus."  
  
"Dorian, you have to face it. I've watched the two of you. There's a coldness on Kevin's part." Remus paused for just a moment. "And I'm not sure that you really love him."  
  
"No," Dorian whispered.  
  
"You deserve more, Dorian."  
  
"You don't know him, Remus. And you don't know what's going on here." She turned back to him. "I think you really should go now." There was no anger in her eyes, or in her voice. Remus could see sadness there. It was as if a curtain had suddenly opened. Pain and sorrow were mirrored in her eyes. Remus knew the truth now. They weren't happy. He didn't think they had been happy for a long time.  
  
"Dorian, I'm here if you need me. Let me help."  
  
"No, Remus, Kevin and I must work through this alone." She reached up and stroked his cheek. "If it weren't for the boys..." They looked deeply into each other's eyes.  
  
"Dorian," Remus whispered. She pressed her lips to his. A sweet sad kiss of goodbye. His arms came around her. The kiss deepened. Her lips parted and his tongue tasted the honey that was her mouth. Her hands pressed against his chest and she gently pushed him away. "Go, go now Remus. If you don't..."  
  
The knock at the door interrupted them. Dorian left quickly. Remus put on his jacket.  
  
"Mr. Shacklebolt," he heard her say. What was Kinglsey doing here? He went into the hallway. Kingsley was standing in the foyer.  
  
"I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, Mrs. Brown." Dorian's hand was pressed to her lips. She had gone pale. "If it's any consolation, he didn't suffer. It was all over quickly." Dorian's knees had begun to buckle. Remus rushed to her side, grabbing her before she hit the floor.  
  
"Lupin," Kingsley said. "Good you're here. Let's help get Mrs. Brown to a seat." They went into the sitting room. Remus helped her to the sofa and sat with her, keeping her wrapped in his arms. Tears were streaming from her eyes. Remus handed her his handkerchief.  
  
"What happened, Kingsley?" he asked.  
  
"We're not entirely sure. He had gone with Tonks and Whightman to Belgrade. There were rumors of dark activity. It was purely an information gathering assignment. Confrontation was forbidden. The rumors were old.  
  
"Apparently they weren't as old as we were given to believe. Tonks said they were ambushed. Whightman and Brown fought bravely, giving Tonks time to escape but before she Disapparated, Brown took the brunt of the Avada Kedavra curse meant for her."  
  
Dorian was sobbing now. "Whightman grabbed his body and they Apparated to the Ministry. Mrs. Brown, your husband died a hero." Dorian was sobbing into Remus' chest.  
  
"I'll see my self out," Kingsley said and he left. Remus let Dorian cry. He leaned back and kept his arms tightly about her. He stroked her hair and let her cry herself out. The sobbing started to ease, but she was clutching at him. Hanging on to his strength. Slowly she raised her eyes to his.  
  
"Keep holding me, Remus," she begged. "Don't stop holding me. I don't think I can go on."  
  
"I won't let go, Dorian, I promise." They sat like that for a long time. Remus quietly holding her, Dorian's head resting on his chest.  
  
"You were right," she finally said.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About Kevin and me."  
  
"You don't have to say anything, Dorian."  
  
She turned her eyes to him. "We haven't been happy for a while." Remus started to say something. "No, let me say this." Remus let her go on. "It started before we came here. Kevin had an affair, back in New York. It was over he told me. When this opportunity came, he begged me to come. He wanted to try, for the sake of the boys. In the four months that we've been here we have been trying. But I knew it wasn't working. He'd broken my trust and I couldn't get it back. I was too much of a coward to say anything though."  
  
"So you were just going to go on? Forego happiness?"  
  
"Mine isn't important. My boy's happiness is. It would have killed them. They love their father."  
  
"But they would have still seen him."  
  
"You don't understand, Remus. Kevin is..." she paused, "was a very powerful man. He had garnered influence in high places. I would have never seen the boys again."  
  
"I can't believe that. Kevin didn't seem the type."  
  
"Trust me. He was. The row we had when I found out about his affair proved that. I threatened to leave and take the boys; he threw his power and influence in my face. I will not lose my boys."  
  
"Dorian, I don't know what to say."  
  
Dorian sat up. "Remus, this afternoon...did you mean it? Did you mean all of it?"  
  
"Yes, Dorian."  
  
"Will you stay? Will you stay with me tonight? I can't bear to be alone. I want you to give me the strength to tell my boys."  
  
"I'll stay as long as you need me."  
  
"I do need you, Remus." She looked down clutching her hands. Remus took them and held them in his.  
  
"Dorian," she looked up at him. "Whatever you need from me, I'm here to give it to you. Take whatever you need. What do you need, Dorian, what do you need right now?"  
  
"To forget," she said without thinking. "To forget the pain, to find happiness, if only for a moment." Remus claimed her lips.   
  
Hours later they lay side-by-side in her bed. She was wrapped in his warm embrace. "I love you, Dorian," Remus said. "It's not the right time or place to say this but I love you. I have from the moment I saw you again."  
  
"I know. Somehow I've known that, Remus."  
  
"There's something else. Something I have to tell you."  
  
"That you're a werewolf?" Remus sat bolt upright.  
  
"How did you know?" Dorian sat up next to him.  
  
"I've always known." He stared at her. "Sirius didn't tell me, if that's what you're thinking. It wasn't hard to figure out though. I was a good student and I knew the signs of lycanthropy. That plus the fact you would disappear at the height of the lunar cycle was evidence enough. And since Sirius, James and Peter would all conveniently go missing on those nights...I simply put two and two together."  
  
"Then you knew about them being animagi?"  
  
"Saw you from the tower window one night when I couldn't sleep. I knew." She began to rub the tension from his shoulders. "It doesn't matter, you see. I know you, Remus. I know you for the gentle soul you are. And I know about Wolf's bane potion." Remus' eyes closed as the tension eased replaced by pleasure. Her lips followed where her hands had been. Between each kiss placed she spoke.  
  
"You mean the world to me...I love you too...couldn't help it...I fell so hard...and now...now..." she reached his lips and passionately kissed him. They broke apart. "It won't be easy, but I want to be together. It's time for me to risk my heart. I've learned so much. I'll not risk losing happiness ever again. Will you let me, Remus? Shall we find happy memories together?"  
  
There was no need for words. He answered with his kiss. 


End file.
